14. That’s One ‘First Time’ I Could Do Without

The first time I went to the doctor after my nervous breakdown I was in a bit of a state. As you can imagine, nervous breakdowns don’t tend to leave you looking glamorous and at the peak of health. I remember there being a severe need for waterproof mascara and a box of Kleenex for all the snot induced crying fits. Equally, if you know of anyone who found a way to keep their dignity during their nervous breakdown I’d be interested to hear about it. I could use some tips for the inevitable next one.

My husband came with me and explained in no uncertain terms that I was mental, needed to be put into a straight-jacket immediately and asked whether HE could have some pills to help him cope with all this. Thankfully he was joking but I’m not sure my GP really knew how to take him.

I was assured that, given the circumstances and all the snot, I was an emergency case and I could expect to hear from the psychiatrist for an assessment (not treatment) in THREE MONTHS TIME!

An EMERGENCY case. In my book emergency’s don’t usually hang around for 3 months, hence the urgency of an emergency. If I’d been anorexic and my kidneys were shutting down would they have fobbed me off with 3 months? What’s more urgent than an emergency when the symptoms of your problem could kill you?

Anyway, I moan only because I was on the brink of giving up on life. Nothing major. In other ways I can’t fault our NHS and mental health system. Not really. We do always seem to have trainees in psychiatric positions for 6 months at a time, but they tend to be pretty good and my first psychiatrist was the best of the lot. He arranged Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for me, counselling and later on, once I plucked up the courage to tell him about my ‘other’ symptoms reclassified my condition from ‘Severe Depressive Disorder’ to ‘Bipolar Type 2’. He changed my life. He helped me achieve a positive outlook for times when I’m well and a coping strategy for times when I’m not.

I can safely say, looking back to that time and how fragile I was then, that the NHS and its community mental health team has made me strong again. Despite the flaws of never getting to know your psychiatrist because they move from one place to the next and despite the long waiting times between appointments, once you are on their radar they do as much as they can to help – in my experience.

I’ve also found that it’s up to you to take their advice and the education they offer about your condition and work hard to make your own life better. There are things you can do to help yourself and I’ll talk more about those next week.

https://www.facebook.com/myfamilyandjanice?ref=hl#!/photo.php?fbid=690403364335565&set=a.180798161962757.37670.157585027617404&type=1&theater